Dog Petting Etiquette

By Matthew “Uncle Matty” Margolis
From a reader:

"I was taught as a toddler: When around a new dog, hold still and present your hand palm up for the dog to sniff. Recently, I had a vet tech breeze up to my dog, Ruby, and lower her hand down over Ruby's head. Ruby jumped up and "air bit" at the vet tech's hand.

"Also, when I walk Ruby, people encourage their kids to come up and pet her whether or not I say it's OK, including toddlers who want to grab her to steady themselves. I was taught to ask permission to approach someone's dog. What is wrong with people?"

My advice:

Don't reach out to pet a strange dog, even with the owner's permission. Dog owners do not always provide the most accurate assessment of their dog's temperament. This is sometimes a byproduct of denial, but by and large, it's ignorance.

A dog owner who does not grasp the importance of socialization won't understand that Fido's good manners and sweet disposition at home aren't guaranteed to hold true out on the streets with the rest of us. When a stranger asks for permission to pet Fido, his owner might give the go-ahead -- not realizing Fido's inner Cujo hasn't been tamed when it comes to strangers.

And the strangest of the strangers to a pooch? Children.

Children are awkward. They walk funny, fall over, flail their arms, shriek, clap, and their heads wobble all over the place. To a dog that hasn't been raised around children, any of this may feel threatening. I have four fantastic dogs at home. One of them has never been around children, and one of them gets nervous around quick, jerky movements. When my small nephew visits, I keep those dogs away from him. This is not about aggression; it's about fear. And it's the kind of "better safe than sorry" judgment call responsible dog owners should be equipped to make.

If you must pet a strange dog, make a knuckle sandwich. This will protect your fingers. And don't approach head-on, arm-extended. For many people, a rolled-up newspaper remains the weapon of choice in their futile attempts to correct canine missteps. To a dog, your arm looks suspiciously similar to that rolled-up paper.

Body language is important when dealing with dogs. Towering over a dog is taking a dominant position. As is petting the dog on the head. When greeting a new dog, the point is to make friends, not to assert your authority.

Word to the wise: With dogs, it's all about territory. Everything is territory: the owner, the leash, the bed, the yard, the food, the toys. So when you approach a strange dog, even in the public domain, you are invading what they perceive to be their territory. The significance of this invasion depends on the degree of the dog's territorialism.

Remember, dogs are wolves. They may be wearing sweaters and booties with bows on their heads, but the instincts of wolves are embedded deep in their DNA. If a wolf were trotting by, would you reach out to pet it?

Woof!